Interesting

Well guess who got a blog? Simone!! I'm glad, I think I can finally share this with someone.

I think the main reason I wasn't sharing it before was that, you know that whole talking to my pets thing? I don't want people to think I'm crazy, but I'm not going to deny it, because I feel like I really am hearing them... after this period I'll tell Simone she has every ounce of my permission to read this blog.

I just hope she doesn't think to much on my depressed amounts of time. Especially that last one, I seriously don't know what was wrong, I really did think I was going crazy. Really I don't feel at all sound of mind but I have this cool ability to gloss over it.

So aside from that, I need to still type on this blog like I usually do. WHen I think no one will read it, and they won't care anyway. BEcause I have a terrible "phobia" if you will of opening up to anyone. I'm not afraid of being judged (at least I don't think so) but I just don't. it makes me feel sort of hallow inside, and I hate that feeling.

Yesterday mom made us do yardwork and I was already mad at Monique. We got into this sort of passive aggressive fight. First I calmly told her off in a million high-vocabulary words and expressions. I know it hurts her but when I do it I never really care about how deep my metaphorical knife is sinking. I'm guessing it goes real deep. SHe tried to make a few come-backs but they just don't work on me. Then somehow we turned our brooms into weapons. She shoved me into a bush with one and I got up and tore it from her hands. THen I cracked it neatly across her back, not to hard because if she cried out too loudly it would alert mom and the whole thing would end with mom screaming at us both and me seriously considering a self-induced coma. I also swore at her, once out of everyone elses earshot. I told her she could do whatever the hell she wanted because I didn't care anymore, I didn't care to be near her anymore.

I didn't mean to, I meant to say heck but the other word just slipped off my tongue like poison: smooth and sleek with a deadly edge.

Anyway, there's more I want to cover but if Simone reads this I don't want to be too freaked out by how "dark and twisty" I am in my writing. It is bizzare actually, it freaks me out sometimes when I read over it. But I still feel like it's true. When I'm in the company of others I feel fine, only because I don't think of it. But alone? Well, the blog says it all. When alone I feel like curling up in a dark, quiet, small place all alone to sleep.

Anyway, I'll type more later. Still haven't found my ipod or my shirt. -Gabrielle (I beleive I've said that once before, yes my real name is Gabrielle)