Ick

I’m really unhappy today. Depressed and angry are two emotions that come to mind, although over it all I feel very numb.. I don’t know why.

I told mom I didn’t want to do guitar class anymore and she went all out on me “you’re so lazy! And selfish!” You don’t even do a sport or anything! (blah blah blah blah blah)” I went to class and it was ok, she still yelled at me afterwards though.

It all started this morning when I woke up from a horrible dream. A whole half of my hand was dead. There was a crater full of ashen dead skin and bone and I couldn’t move that hand at all. What freaked me out the most was the veins. They were narrow, black, rigid, dry, lifeless canals through the dust. I couldn’t feel anything. I mean, evan if the veins were alive and cut, bloodying up everything, I would have been more ok with it, blood meant life or just ended life. But life all the same.

Maybe I’m sick, I feel kind of sick, I don’t know what to do. :(